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    Home » Blunder the Tuscan Son - Fioretto Trattoria

    August 2005 Uncategorized

    Blunder the Tuscan Son - Fioretto Trattoria

    fioretto trattoria, culver city, ca
    It’s so strange how certain restaurants receive opening buzz around here. I had never heard of Fioretto Trattoria nor of the chef/owner, David Giani, but for some reason, there were whispers in the culinary underground that gave me the impression that this guy was God's gift to Tuscan cuisine and that the opening of his new restaurant was long awaited. I felt almost...left out. Am I not a Wednesday faithful of the LA Times, Thursday’s LA Weekly, even the tiny little box of bits and bytes in Los Angeles magazine? Where had I flubbed in my daily restaurant research? If he and it were so famously awaited, how come I hadn’t really heard of it?

    Normally I am not swayed by hype, but I was intrigued. I am going to check Fioretto Trattoria out and see what all the whisperings were about. I almost thought it might have been subterfuge hype. Whoever did the grassroots marketing for this unknown restaurant did a great job of getting me to make a reservation. Pretty convenient that the restaurant is just a few miles from my office. Lunch? Yes.

    Unassuming strip mall dining is no stranger to me, especially here on the Westside, so it was no big surprise to find Fioretto Trattoria in the second spot from the street in a small plaza on Culver Boulevard. For some reason though, I was expecting something more along the lines of the restaurants along San Vicente in Brentwood. Fioretto’s name gets lost on the big sign facing the street amongst the varied and sundry businesses listed so we almost missed it. A pub, mini market, chiropractor, dentist, and Curves. If I needed a no-frills 30 minute workout, I would have found that one right away.

    The restaurant is unexpectedly tiny, just a plain, square little space with dining room that turns a corner around a small bar and prep area that holds a row of wine bottles standing shoulder to shoulder across the front. I have no idea how big the kitchen is; it is hidden behind a solid swining door behind the bar. There is one large round table toward the back of the room that’s already taken over by early power lunchers, and about five smaller square tables against the walls and front window. Sit anywhere, she calls over her shoulder with a sweeping wave above her head, so we take a table in the corner against the window. Being busy and full at lunch time is a good sign, but really, not difficult to achieve when there are only a half dozen tables.

    Fioretto has small details that may go unnoticed, but I noticed (that’s just me). The tables are made from what looks like parts of a castle door – thick heavy slabs of wood held together with iron fasteners. However, the chairs do not match the majestic dining tables, and feel more like $19.99 for a four pack from Ikea. I had to shift in my seat a few times to stay comfortable, and it’s not like I’m lacking anatomical cushioning to begin with.

    Our server, the only one running around the place, is a plain, middle-aged woman with dark, shoulder length wavy hair. For some reason, the name Maude seems to fit her. Right away, even as she dropped off menus, I got a strange bi-polar, slightly unsettled air about her. She smiles, but it seems forced, trying to cover up stress and mild irritation. It almost felt like one more thing and all the effort she’s putting into keeping a happy server’s appearance would explode into some middle-aged manic episode. She laughs nervously a lot, and has a habit of tucking invisble strands of hair behind her ear when she answers our questions. It appeared like she didn’t know exactly how to handle service. I couldn’t figure out if she was the owner filling in for a server who called in sick, or perhaps that’s just the way she is.

    The menu features Tuscan cuisine, with a little bit of everything from appetizers, soup, salads, sandwiches, pizza, pasta, and meats. In about an 11 point font with single spacing, it all fits on one page. Appetizers were familiar like zucchini e calamari or mozarella fritti, as well as a carpaccio and tomato with burrata. We didn’t want to over do it, so we passed on the starters as well as the zuppa del giorno, which Maude forgot to tell us about anyway.

    There’s also a page of specials, which is suspicious, since they have been the same specials for more than three months now. It wouldn’t normally make a difference to me, but if Fioretto makes a point to call the regular menu seasonal for summer, which is three months, then it’s strange that the specials run for the same span of time. What makes the specials special? Perhaps it is that they are printed with double spacing and also have a suggested wine pairing (with wine glass icon!) for each item. By the way, the menu very boldly, italicizedly states that splitting dishes will cost you a dollar.

    While we were examining the menu, Maude brought out the order for a neighboring table. After she plunked the plates down on their table, I *excuseme*ed, but she held up her finger without looking at me and waddled off at warp speed in the direction of the kitchen. Only when she returned much later than the one-minute finger she held up, to take our order, did it dawn on her that I had asked for her quite some time ago. She was busy and I sympathized with that. All I wanted to know was what it was that she had brought out to the neighboring table – it looked like tiny ladyfingers standing upright in a puddle of red sauce. She seemed nervous looking over her shoulder at the neighboring table, and somewhat exasperated that I had asked. Her breathing was a little troubled. It was the timballo. I ordered it, just because I felt so bad for having asked in the first place. No worries though, there was only one other thing in the list of pastas that looked interesting – fedelini with sauteed scallops, lump crab meat, and garlic white wine sauce. I didn’t want to burden her with a question about what the hell fedelini is.

    The other dish was off the real specials menu. I wasn’t quite sure what made penne sauteed with tomatoes and eggplant so special. Risotto di carne, beef risotto on porcini mushroom sauce, was the first time I had ever seen beef in a risotto before. But then I remembered I don’t like rice, so in the end, we went with the branzino over sha
    llots, potaotoes, and yellow tomato saffrom broth
    . Branzino sure makes striped bass sounds like it’s worth 17 dollars, doesn’t it?

    We went ahead with a glass of 2004 Valle Martello Trebbiano d’Abruzzo suggested for the branzino and a pinot grigio. Both were refreshing, with a *hmm* that the trebbiano tasted almost too sweet. I took a taste. *shrugs* Tastes like white wine to me. ;) We were almost to the bottom of our glasses and still our food had not come out from the kitchen. With another *excuseme* I got the finger again (her index finger, not that finger), and I’m quite certain she knew why. When she finally came back, there was her nervous, apologetic, self-conscious laugh about trying to get the order out for the large party. Shortly thereafter, our timballo and branzino finally came to the table.

    I’m not sure what a timballo is, but I am going to guess that it is derived from the same word as timbale, and therefore refers to a drum shape. About fifteen rigatoni, stuffed with smoked chicken, raisins and pine nuts, are placed upright and packed together into a drum shape, sitting in shallow puddle of reddish orange sauce. Mozzarella cheese is melted over the top, which holds the rigatoni to each other so they don’t fall apart. The only thing I could think of when I saw it in front of me was the way teeny Vienna sausages look, packed into that little pull-top can.

    Though it looked interesting in its wide shallow bowl, I didn’t like the timballo. The rigatoni were hard. Of course I know what al dente is, but these were hard, as if they had been reheated in a microwave oven with no sauce. Dry around the edges and hard. The description read like the filling combination would taste awesome, but the smoked chicken tasted as though it had been soaked too long in Texas Pete’s liquid smoke, completely overpowering everything else. Apart from the flavor, the texture of the filling was so dry that even the red pepper tomato sauce wasn’t enough to moisten it. I only ate about three of the rigatoni and left the rest in the bowl. To take home? Sure, because it pains me to waste something, but I was pretty certain the round foil container would take up real estate in my refrigerator for about a week before I had to throw it out anyway. (It did.)

    The timballo didn’t taste good, but the branzino was absolutely terrible. Is that harsh? No? Oh, then I meant it was revolting. From the moment it was placed on the table, I was suspicious because of what it looked like. The branzino was an enormous slab of what looked like gooey, fatty, slimy cellulite skin of a gray, middle-aged mermaid thrown in with a disheveled mess of vegetables that were confused about whether they were to be a bed for the fish, or a sauce on top. Sure, delicious food doesn’t always look pretty, but that’s a philosophy that usually only applies to the under 21 crowd; as in, dinner for two under 21 dollars. But the branzino was $17, and quantity over quality only works at the Vegas buffets and Cheesecake Factory.

    So I gave its appearance the benefit of the doubt and hoped that it tasted nothing like it looked. It was worse. He started first, and I noticed right away that with each blubbery looking bite, his head would cock slightly then he would pull two to three fish bones out of his mouth and place them on the edge of the bowl. He is polite and well-mannered, so it wasn’t that I noticed him doing it, I noticed that he had to do it with every bite that he took of the branzino. I decided to take a taste, and oh my god, I couldn’t even register the flavor because there were fish scales in my mouth. I tried as discreetly as possible to maneuver the scales between my teeth and into a napkin. Finally, giving up, I just opened my mouth and spit the whole bite of half-chewed fish blubber skin, scales, bones and flesh into my napkin. I had no words. I could not express my...see? I don’t even know what to say other than fish scales! After that, I didn’t try the vegetables in the sauce.

    You would have thought that we learned our lesson, first from the mediocre and disappointing timballo, and second, from the scaly branzino. We must have drank our wine too fast in the beginning and t had taken over our sensibilities because we ordered dessert. Actually, I think we ordered dessert more because suddenly our server was aggressively chatting away about how amazing the lemon tart is. Maybe she knew about the branzino and was trying to make up for it. Whatever, just bring it and where’s the bathroom? I think I have a scale stuck between my molars.

    The lemon tart was pretty on the plate, dusted with powdered sugar and garnished with paper thin slices of lemon. But I think my experience had been so scarring that I couldn’t really taste and enjoy it. He said it was good, but then again, for him, a week-old grocery doughnut would have tasted good after all those fish bones.

    Perhaps Maude was having a slightly bad day. It was gray and gloomy outside, and I admit that I too am an LA victim of sunshine-less bad days. Perhaps the timballo and the branzino were cooked exactly as they were supposesd to by Tuscan chef Giani, and it is simply my naive tongue, untrained in Tuscan cuisine that didn’t like it. If that’s the case, then I suppose I need to make a trip to Tuscany, which I will do long before I go back to Fioretto Trattoria. But I’m quite certain that in any cuisine, fish bones and scales are not sold as specials.

    Fioretto Trattoria
    12740 Culver Boulevard (@ Braddock Drive)
    Culver City, CA 90066
    310.448.8000
    http://fioretto.tuscanycuisine.com

    tags :: food : and drink : italian : restaurants : reviews : los angeles

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    Comments

    1. Stephanie says

      August 19, 2005 at 4:26 am

      Now, I'm pretty certain I'll never visit most...if any...of the restaurant you review. But, I gotta tell you: I love reading about them!

      Reply
    2. Xericx says

      August 19, 2005 at 4:26 am

      Hmmm, I liked the Timballo. If you didn't have it take a dip in the sace underneath, it was dry but I don't think it was supposed to be eaten without the sauce....I liked the flavor of the smoked mozerella and the filling wasn't overpowering.

      Reply
    3. augustusgloop says

      August 19, 2005 at 4:46 am

      Thoroughly entertaining write-up. Even if we are laughing at your pain! =)

      No photos tho? =( Maybe they would've scarred your camera for life... =)

      Reply
    4. Sam says

      August 19, 2005 at 5:47 am

      The branzino was an enormous slab of what looked like gooey, fatty, slimy cellulite skin of a gray, middle-aged mermaid
      Sarah you crack me up
      Hilarious.

      Reply
    5. Sam says

      August 19, 2005 at 2:02 pm

      somewhere i read that there are possible copyright issues with printing menus and publishing them. I often take one or photograph it outside, but for ref, not to use directly on my blog.

      Reply
    6. sarah says

      August 19, 2005 at 3:18 pm

      aw, hellothanks, everyone! maybe you'll visit l.a. someday, stephanie. don't you want to go to...disneylines? er, i mean hollyweird? lol!

      xericx: i was wondering when you were going to comment here - i remember your comment on the RIFWOL (review in five words or less) about the timballo. i did eat the pasta with the sauce, but no sauce can rescue something that is already dry, you know? now i did forget to mention the smoked mozzarella, which i did like, but that, along with the presentation, was the only redeeming quality!

      ag: no camera because i was *ahem* with my BOSS. i normally have no problem whipping out my camera - in front of complete strangers even! but this was my boss, and of course, ANY answer i give about why i was 2 inches from the food with a camera would eyebrows, "blog" or otherwise!

      sam and lacheese: i always take a menu, and if it's a notable chef, i ask for an autograph - some people collect stamps. i collect menus, lol! you should see the collection i have from my years in the bay area :) but yes, i have thought about posting the menu, since i have seen lots of "menu sites," but they probably have some sort of advertising agreement with those restaurants. but that is interesting, maybe it would be worthwhile to post it anyway!

      Reply
    7. Stephanie says

      August 19, 2005 at 3:56 pm

      Sarah...I made the trip once (down from Oakland); I think the most I did was dinner at some very nice Brazilian restaurant...maybe Bossa Nova?

      Reply
    8. Stephanie says

      August 19, 2005 at 3:56 pm

      Sarah...I made the trip once (down from Oakland); I think the most I did was dinner at some very nice Brazilian restaurant...maybe Bossa Nova?

      Reply
    9. Anonymous says

      August 19, 2005 at 4:57 pm

      "simply my naive tongue, untrained in Tuscan cuisine that didn’t like it"

      Exactly.

      If you don't know the cuisine, then you probably shouldn't be judging it. I found the restaurant to be charming and the food was excellent. You don't know what you're talking about.

      Reply
    10. duckduckgoose says

      August 19, 2005 at 5:23 pm

      I had the chef yell at our server, curse loudly enough to scare my nieces and throw pans around the kitchen. Needless to say we had pretty bad service there. Chowhounds was in love with this place and then I wrote up my experience there and chowhounds deleted it. I think they sometimes keep negative reviews off to keep these places overhyped.

      Reply
    11. sarah says

      August 19, 2005 at 5:32 pm

      hello anonymous! exactly, as you said, and that is precisely why i explain that i am not well-tasted in tuscan cuisine, but i don't believe that being new to something should keep anyone from telling the story of their experience or deciding whether or not they liked it. taste is very subjective, don't we all know that? one cannot tell another what tastes good or bad. that is for each of us to decide on our own.

      however, as far as techniques and all that and what it's supposed to taste like...that is a different matter. i don't think i actually made any comments about how things should have been cooked, as i have no idea. all i can offer is what it tasted like to me. if there were supposed to be scales on the fish, well, that doesn't mean i have to like it.

      Reply
    12. sarah says

      August 19, 2005 at 5:34 pm

      wow, duckduckgoose, even though it was the chef yelling at the server and not, say, at you and your party, that's pretty uncomfortable. your poor nieces!

      i have much opinion on service, lol! but that might have to be an essay in itself. ;)

      Reply
    13. Xericx says

      August 20, 2005 at 1:54 am

      My service was fine when I went, but there were several other posters who also had the same thing. Must be my million dollar smile.... :)

      Reply
    14. Anonymous says

      September 24, 2005 at 5:18 am

      Might I suggest you not go out to eat when you are on the rag.
      You aspire to be a food critic?!!
      First learn how to spell.
      Swining door? Or did you mean your swine like ass?!
      Half a dozen means six. There are more than six tables at Fioretto.
      I guess math was not one of your strong points either.
      I was born in Florence and Fioretto is about the best trattoria in Los Angeles bar none.
      You would have to venture into Beverly Hills and pay a kings ransom to get close to the quality.
      I am curious to see if you have the balls to post this.
      I wonder how many of the following posts will be put up by you, pretending to be someone else.
      Get a life! And find a job that you can do competently.

      Reply
    15. Anonymous says

      November 26, 2005 at 8:42 am

      Very Good Anonymos,
      I agree with you this Sarah or delicius life.
      Maybe she need a good fisting, with a huge coke in her mounth before too posted bad stuff on restaurant.

      Reply
    16. Anonymous says

      December 16, 2006 at 9:43 pm

      Fioretto was thumbs UP for our party. Better go back.
      It's hard to believe that you did not point out the fish
      scales etc to the owner, did you really want other people to have fish scales?

      Reply
    17. giovanni contaldo says

      February 03, 2008 at 9:15 pm

      I often eat at fioretto,I was born and raised in Italy,when i crave my native cuisine and i'm lazy I go to davide's place.I think that someone paid you to write those nasty lies over my friends cuisine.It is a lie and my friend works hard to deliver culinary masterworks to a bunch of redneck/burger king critics.You cannot teach a pig how to sing!it's awaste of time and annoys the pig.

      Reply
    18. Linda says

      May 15, 2011 at 11:53 am

      This could be your most incredible writing ever.

      Reply

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