Cabana Club
1439 Ivar Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90028
323.463.0005
www.cabanaclubhollywood.com
Cha Cha Cha
656 N. Virgil Ave
Silverlake, CA 90004
323.664.7723
~ and ~
7953 Santa Monica Boulevard
West Hollywood, CA 90046
323.848.7700
www.theoriginalchachacha.com
Is it just a cliché?
Is it just so played out that it’s comical now?
Why does every online dating/personal “ad” for a guy say the exact same thing? In fact, it doesn't even have to be written, hard evidence; it's just an unspoken universally known truth.
Why does every guy want a girl who is low maintenance – wears little to no makeup, takes little to no time to “get ready” to go out, doesn’t need a wardrobe full of clothes and a separate closet for shoes, and in fact, is perfectly happy to order food in and watch The Simpsons. Not the now-defunct Mr. and Mrs. Jessica Simpson, but the cartoon. The Simpsons is great, low maintenance entertainment.
No guy would ever say, “I want a girl who wears so much makeup we could scratch a heart with my initials+her intitials into her cheek. I want a girl who takes three hours to shower, dry her hair, curl her hair in velcro rollers, has $10,000 worth of clothing, twice as much in shoes, and expects me to take her out to expensive, reservations-required dinners every night excet Monday when she has to wax and bleach. Dammit, I hope she expects flowers on every 1-800-Flowers holiday and even expects them on occasions that have nothing to do with her. I want a girl who wants flowers for herself on Mother’s Day. Why would she want flowers for herself on Mother’s Day if she’s not a mother? Because some day she might be a mother, so I need to drop fifty bucks on a pathetically paltry bouquet of pink and red carnations. Because she might be a mother. Might!”
No guy ever admits he wants a high-maintenance girl.
Out loud.
But the thing is, high-maintenance really is what they want. They say they don’t want a girl who wears too much makeup but why then, three years later, do they say, “Hey Honey, why don’t you put on a little makeup today?” They say they want someone who is low maintenance, but then three year later, they ask, “Babe, we don’t have to leave right away for dinner. Why don’t you shower and get oh, I don’t know, a little dolled up?” Why, three years later, do they throw money at you, beg you to please, please, girl, damn, would you please buy some new clothes instead of wearing that ratty old pair of sweats and yellowed wife beater tank top every single day except once a month when you do laundry?”
*silence*
But I thought you liked girls who were low maintenance.
No, Britney Jr., men want women who are low maintenance, but look high maintenance.
Hypocrites.
But women are worse. Okay, maybe not all women. Okay, maybe just one woman. Me. I am terrible, because instead of saying, “Oh yeah? Well this is what you get – sweats, unlaundered tank top, au naturel – take it or leave it!” Instead of challenging, I just take the credit card and...run.
We’ll see who comes back looking low maintenance now!
Somehow, I got myself invited to the Red Carpet Boutique, one of many new “VIP” shopping events that happen every once in a while by invading an ooh-la-la venue, letting vendors set up shop for a few hours, and showcasing local LA designers. Red Carpet Boutique’s Summer Sample Sale was over at the Cabana Club in Hollywood. Truth be told, I wasn’t going because I love shopping. In fact, unless it’s the Farmers’ Market or Surfas, I pretty much hate shopping. I love having pretty clothes and obnoxiously sassy shoes, but I don’t like to shop for them.
I went because the invitation said complimentary drinks. And Cha Cha Cha was catering. Oh yeah, and complimentary drinks. Oops, did I say “drinks” twice? ;)
the pool, "seen"
I also I wanted to see the Cabana Club, which on any other normal weekend evening, I probably wouldn’t be allowed to enter, what with pretty much being a nobody clad in fraying sweatpants, 15 year-old flip flops, and Coke bottle glasses. The venue is tres chic – so chic that it doesn’t need a sign on a very small, dark entrance on Ivar that opens up onto a large outdoor patio bedecked with every manner of furnishing that suggest outdoor oasis – cabanas around the perimeter, palm trees and other such lush tropical foliage, stone and tile, waterfalls, bridges, and a small wraparound pool which, like everyone else who would be there, is only for being seen.
Cha Cha Cha was hidden away under a tent on one end of the patio, guarded by what looked like a horrible horned beast that had been attacked by a rainbow of be-Skittled flavors. I don’t know who made it, where it came from, but no fruit should ever have to endure such an embarrassing makeover to be a centerpiece. My shock and awe notwithstanding, I slipped past the atrocity to take a peek at Cha Cha Cha’s spread, eager to finally taste the Caribbean catnip that hurls people into fiery fits of island ecstasy.
Mere mention of the Caribbean-flavored restaurant in Los Angeles with outposts in Silverlake and West Hollywood, and the immediate response is always something along the lines of “Ohmigod! I love Cha Cha Cha!” I have never been to the restaurant, and to be quite honest, I don’t have a whole lot of experience with Caribbean food other than a few times tasting the quintessential Caribbean food, jerk chicken, and a week-long love affair with a bottle of habanero hot sauce direct from the islands. Ohmy, it burned. It was painful. It hurt so good.
i might call it dirty
who's got the oil blotting papers?
The food smelled good, but if ever there was something to be said about presentation, if ever there was a time to argue in favor of high maintenance, it is right here with the catered food from Cha Cha Cha. Now I understand. Yes, appearance does matter, and unfortunately, the Cha Cha Cha’s food looked wholly unappetizing in the unprotected silver Smart and Final food service trays. I couldn’t bring myself to ladle a taste of the soggy, miserable mess of yellow rice that had been pushed into tiny piles around the tray as if it had been picked over for the good bits. I didn’t even want to go near the shredded tangle of unidenitifiable meat (pork perhaps?) that was drowning in an oil spill that would have made the Exxon Valdez look like a canoe.
Now, this is not to say that the food was bad. I have no idea if it was good, or bad, but it was most certainly ugly enough that a girl like me, who can eat Benito’s nachos right alongside Santa Monica’s finest residents at 4 am, couldn’t taste it. I had to leave Cha Cha Cha and its fruity warrior freak behind.
nothing swept the sandals off my feet
The vendors were set up on individual tables on the patio and inside. I saw some interesting things – designers who had taken True Religion and other high end jeans and marked them up even higher than the $250 price tag by fancifying them with their own artistry, ridiculously over-adorned t-shirts, slinky slippery sexy tops, pretty little sundresses, and that jewelry, all made by different designers, but which all look suspiciously the same – but nothing so totally swept my wedge heeled sandals right off my feet that I needed to buy another pair.
hello kitty's monkey cousin
eekprettyoohsqueal!
I was charmed by other things, nothing of which would have contributed in the least to bringing me out of my low maintenance look. Xocai, a chocolate infused with acai and blueberries making it an antioxidant powerhouse, pretty water with just enough of a hint of flavor to make it really expensive, makeup bags from Fluff bedecked with a monkey who must be Hello Kitty’s saucier, sassier tropical cousin, and totally unnecessary lotions and bath stuff that cannot be any better than Jergens, but the packaging was so eekprettyoohsqueal!
I didn’t buy a thing. I came home empty-handed.
And I guess I will have to actually go to Cha Cha Cha to try it.
Just give me a couple hours to shower and get ready, ‘k?
Who Else Ate at Cha Cha Cha?
Fresh Approach Cooking - Dine and Dish at Cha Cha Cha (Mar 2006)
la.foodblogging - Jonah goes to Cha Cha Cha (Mar 2006)
LAist - Cha Cha Cha gets tastebuds dancing (Nov 2005)
Franklin Avenue's Rate-a-Restaurant - #76 Cha Cha Cha (Oct 2005)
Potatomato - Cha Cha Cha (Catering) (Mar 2005)
** a year ago today, sahm gyae tahng is chicken soup for the sweaty soul **
tags :: food : and drink : caribbean : restaurants : reviews : shopping : los angeles
Anonymous says
you said it sister!
you forgot to mention that they also want "crazy"
Eudaimo says
HA! I wasn't aware that we guys were claiming that we wanted low maintenance now. No one sent me the memo :(. Can I no longer prefer medium-maintenance? What happened to balance in everything?
On a similar note, why do female personals always sound like they were written by Lief Ericson? "OMG, I love to travel!!! Travel! Travel! TRAVEL! One week I'm Parasailing in Guam, the next I'm building an ice castle in Greenland." I just don't believe people are travelling that much--unless people don't have jobs anymore...
sarah says
anonymous: OMG! i need to write another post about "crazy." LOL! you are so right.
eudaimo: lief erickson!! LOL! i know exactly what you are talking about: on travel.
Anonymous says
Interesting topic. I think you have it right, I do like the high maintenance 'look' but I really dislike the appearances-and-status-are-everything, I-have-to-impress-people-with-my-expensive-tastes
materialistic personality that often goes with it. Too, any high maintenance types seem to be very insecure and require constant reinforcement. Who wants to deal with that?
Margaret says
and what are men and women both doing "outdoors"? This "outdoor" thing doesn't seem to bring them together.
KT says
Ha ha! So true, I tried to help a friend find an internet date and we mostly just got a lot of laughs. Then we started figuring out extreme things to say on her profile and see if anyone would still e-mail her. They did.
What is up with all the guys who put pictures of themselves with babies, like they think that will make girls more into them?
djjewelz says
I like high maitenance women. It just completes my high maintenance job, my high maintenance dog, and everything else.
And just for you - Diggers/C. Cox Live at Space in Ibiza Essential Mix: http://www.sendspace.com/file/jo3erg
Anonymous says
i love my women to be high maintenance. why not, i'm not paying for it. when women say they like to travel, they really mean, "when someone else is paying for it." i mean, isn't that what the women's rights movement was about? you know, being equal. i equate that to meaning you are self sufficient & do not require my money or pampering. if that is not the case, then there is no equality, right? but i digress, this is a food blog...
sarah says
anonymous: i think you said it! well, i think that is what is meant by "high maintenance" when it comes to the personality - requires a lot of attention, just like a high maintenance car.
margaret: no kidding. you know it's a good relationship when you two are able to sit quietly together without feeling awkward.
kt: babies or puppies. lol! if i see a guy with a puppy, i lose all interest in the guy and focus on the puppy. LOL!
djjewelz: oh me. oh my. are YOU high maintenance? ;)
anonymous: 'tis a food blog, but we talk about everything here. everything. and i do not demand equality. no not at all. please, someone, anyone! please feel free to pay for me! ;)
dorkie says
heh..after all that... all i can say is...NICE SHOES SARAH! *wink*
KT says
All I can remember about Cha Cha Cha is the plantains. I love plantains and will eat anywhere that has them. I think the jerk chicken was good, not amazing, but good. I think I would rather get garlic chicken from Versailles. And the plantains at Versailles are better too.
The main reason for me to go to Cha Cha Cha is to then go to the Smog Cutter for karaoke.
Love the sandals!
sarah says
dorkie: haha! those aren't my sandals. i would never dare to bare so much flesh. ;)
kt: you said karaoke. LOL!
Anonymous says
this is my first review and of course it has to be on a horrible horrible experience. my bday, first time ever getting a VIP table.. my friends all on the guest-list. we were practically the first ones in line. ladies on guest-list supposed to be free before 1030.. not the case.. they charged my friends full price $20 to get in. said they didn't know anything about a guest-list. Then when I go to get my table they said I needed a 4 table minimum because of all the people. Then instead of giving us a cabana, they tried to sit us on this dinky lawn chair looking thing which was right in the front of the club. All of a sudden, the cabanas are a 2 bottle minimum. The lady who was handling everything said we should be grateful that we were even able to get what we got, and even referred to herself as "GOD" because she counted the number of people in the group. Also she said all of the tables are pretty much filled up. Well needless to say they weren't... maybe 2 other people in the club got bottle service. Me and my friends practically were sitting on like 4 tables... which meant i didn't have to spend 5hundred for the baby bottle of patron, for horrendous service and the worst headache ever. The whole place smelled like weeed which is hella tacky. I even renamed it club weeed. The place is way too packed and they say to dress trendy but you can go in wearing baggy t-shirts or anything you want really. They pick and choose who they want to go in but the place sucks, let’s be honest. The music inside is old gangster rap and when a good new song comes in, they play like 1/3 of it. The outside music is pretty cool, ranges from 80's to new music but it's just too much variety from one song to the next. All of the staff treat you like you're krap and you're supposed to know everything. They even make a killing off of the DD's charging for coke and water. They don't care about how people get home as long as you make it out of the club.
To top it all off, I set my camera down because some drinks were spilled on the table. No one was really paying attention to where my camera was. Some guy came by and just wrapped up the whole table cloth with my camera in it. There’s no way he did it by accident. That guy took advantage of a hectic situation. When we went back to the parking structure I realized I didn't have my camera. I went back down to see if I could look for it and the bouncer said to talk to security. I was trying to be as nice as I could but being nice doesn't count for shyt in Hollywood. The security guy or whatever... in his late 40's, steroid abuse looking fellow was so rude about it. All he was worried about was which skank was trashed enough to take home. Didn’t want to hear anything I had to say. He just kept telling me to call in on Monday and they would have it. To top it all off, the guy who I was sure who took my camera was standing there the whole time listening to me with a smug look on his face. The bouncer even kept telling him to just give me back my camera. I don’t know if they were being natural jackasses or if someone was telling the truth. I wait until Monday; I call in hoping to talk to someone with reason. Some lady who sounded as if she just woke up at 11am picked up the phone already with attitude. I explained the situation; she asked why I waited to call and then said there was nothing in lost and found. I guess she would know "IF" she worked in lost and found but she didn't even say she was going to look. She didn't want to take down any info cuz I’m sure she's sure that it'll never be found. She even assured me none of the staff would've taken my camera. My bday pics and everything else was lost and they didn't give a dam. I shelled out money for something I didn't have to. They treated VIP’s like sob's. Go to this club is you like being verbally abused. Def don't take people here if you want to impress them. If you hate someone, tell them to go to this club and Monday you'll have a smile on your face cuz you'll know they were treated like shyt.
sarah j. gim says
god anonymous that SUCKS. i am so sorry that you went through all of that. probably a reason why i don't go out much anymore, since 89% of nightlife in LA is like that. ick.
Nicole says
The problem with this article is that they are associating low-maintenance with the word "sloppy." Low-maintenance doesn't mean wearing dirty, baggy sweats and not washing your hair or brushing your teeth. That's just nasty and sloppy, not to mention unhygenic.
You can be low-maintenance but still look cute and casual. Guys want a girl who can shower and take 10 minutes to put on a tank top, jeans and flip-flops a lil mascara and lip gloss to go to the movies or for a walk in the park. Guys don't want a girl who takes 2 hours to get ready and have to look picture-perfect just to go to the movies or to the grocery store. That's the difference.
Girls who have to look picture-perfect all the time are actually very insecure and probably get most of their confidence from their looks. If a girl can go out with little makeup with cute but casual clothing and still have fun shows she's confident and doesn't need attention to her looks.