They do not. Much to my dismay, friends, much. I was mistaken. Marketing misled me.
Because really now, is it not natural to think that Absolut Ruby Red on the rocks would be as full of vitamin C as a grapefruit? Would not it seem logical that Stoli Blueberi would have the highest concentration of antioxidants than any other vodka, unless there were something like Belvedere Blackberi, which there isn't?
That'll teach me to read a nutrition label (on a vodka bottle)!
Cocktails, of course, can be mixed with vitalicious fruit juices, but given that I am basically a gay man trapped inside a pseudo-small Asian girl's body, I don't do fruity sweetness. What is a recovering soberholic to do about getting all those important vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants without having to resort to popping a rainbow assortment of pills?
The Marteani, for which, everyone should commentslap me for such grossly neologistical obscenity, is the new "healthy" object of my drinking desire.
Research has shown that drinking certain teas is beneficial to both bodily and mental health. In particular, green tea has a high nutrient and antioxidant content, not only for the actual makeup, but also because the nutrients that are naturally there are better preserved during the tea-making process. While other tea leaves are fermented, green tea leaves are toasted (fermenting causes nutrient loss). Green tea has vitamin C and surprisingly, fluoride. Isn't that nice? Even though your teeth might be a shameful shade of graybrown, it will be from tea stains, not tooth decay rotting your teeth into a fetid, blackened mess of pulpy, bacteria-softened enamel.
By the way, these and other health and medical statements as they appear on The Delicious Life have not been approved by the FDA. In fact, unless my referrer stats are grossly inaccurate, the FDA has never even visited my little blog, so don't go doing something stupid based on my statements, like overdosing on green tea and then suing me for blogging malpractice so you can pay for tea-hab. I'm not a doctor. I just play one on my blog.
I had heard much about Chado Tea Room, but never had any real reason to visit it. My tea drinking desires are rather plebeian, relegated to the last resort when coffee, soda, energy drinks, and every other injectable form of caffeine are not available, or illness. The function of 24 flimsy bags of generic "tea" off the grocery store shelf is far more appropriate for me than the fashion of driving all the way to a trendy neighborhood which already requires a level 10 effort from me for a restaurant motivation. However, with a cocktail as an incentive, as well as a willing driver, we made the sojourn to Chado and picked up Jasmine pearls, a type of green tea rolled with jasmine flower buds.
For some reason, likely that "cha" is the Japanese word for tea, I expected to be greeted by softly giggling geishas inside an ancient samurai castle. The vibe of the tiny storefront is quiet and slightly dark, to be sure, but Chado inside is just a narrow space lined on one side with shelves that could topple over at any moment under the weight of a garage sale's worth of global tea trinkets and on the opposite side, a floor-to-ceiling matrix of dark canisters, identical to one another save for the name of the tea scratched onto an ivory label. There was absolutely nothing Japanese-like about the dozen ladies in the adjoining parlor, who were seated around a large dining table who were drinking tea in a setup that was more Shakespeare than Shogun. Except that they were giggling over the tiny cakes like a troupe of Hello Kitties hopped up on the allegedly lower levels of caffeine in tea under coffee.
We whispered to the young man behind the counter what we wanted, not because jasmine pearls were a secret, but because I was afraid to disturb the relative quiet of the room. He responded equally softly by shuffling across the matrix, carefully ascending a small step-ladder, pulling down a canister, and measuring out the jasmine pearls into a windowed paper bag. A handful of jasmine pearls was close to $12. If not for the environment I would have shrieked "Are you fucking crazy?!" out loud. Hey, I'm a lady; I left out the f word. Okay, and I didn't really scream it out loud.
The Jasmine Marteanis were delicious, partially for the Chopin vodka we used, and of course, for the tea flavor that wasn't tainted with too much sugar. Now if we make marteanis with English Breakfast tea, does this mean I can drink it with my breakfast scone?
Jasmine Marteanis for Two
Brew a cup jasmine tea extra, super dark, by tripling or quadrupling whatever the teamaster tells you to do to drink it. Let the brewed tea cool to room temperature.
In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, pour 3
-4 ounces vodka , 2 ounces of dark jasmine tea, and 1 Tbsp of sugar. Shake hard and long to help the sugar dissolve.
Strain into two chilled martini glasses. We garnished with a jasmine pearl, which unfurls its lacy leaves into the drink if you drink slowly enough. That didn't happen for me, obviously. At least for the first two.
Chado Tea Room
8422 ½ West 3rd Street
Los Angeles, CA 90048