If you're wondering why you're seeing so many pancakes all over the food web today, don't think it's just because IHOP is giving away free pancakes. They are doing that, and blogs are posting pancake recipes because today is Pancake Day, another way to commemorate Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday/Shrove Tuesday. Today is called Pancake Day because people would make pancakes to use up butter, eggs and milk before Lent.
For all the other times when I was a good girl, when I was cautious – hell, I’ve basically been abstaining for the last two years – it would be just my delicious luck to go unprotected the one time when it actually matters, and get infected. Once. Just once! As if almostsharing my Asian heritage with Semi-ho Sandra because her last name is Lee weren’t enough, now I am diseased. Tainted, if you will. I have been (self) diagnosed with . . .
The Emeril Epidemic.
Technically, he’s a pandemic because he’s basically everywhere, but I have this thing with alliteration.
The only reason I ever watched tv was for the Food Network, and truth (that will reveal how old I really am) be told, I even loved watching the original Essence back when Emeril was still a relatively unknown chef who always looked into the wrong camera during taping. I loved the Food Network and could even say I had an unhealthy addiction. As expected, there were changes as the the years went by. While I liked some new shows and personalities like Ina Garten and Loverboy Bourdain, far more new shows reflected a whole new direction that didn’t appeal to me. Overall programming on the Food Network was declining.
I gave them the benefit of the doubt, though, and convinced myself that the magic would come back. Like a battered wife, I made excuses, telling myself it was my fault that I couldn’t stay up late enough to watch re-runs of A Cook’s Tour that the Network had relegated to 3 AM slots. Given my bloggy, work-at-home schedule, it actually worked better for me to have uninteresting shows during the daytime that wouldn’t distract me. I even argued that Emeril was a case study in celebrity marketing brilliance. I was fooling myself but finally, cancellation of the original Iron Chef (Japanese) was the epiphanous moment that forced me to take drastic action.
I cancelled cable.
I’ve abstained from the Food Network for almost two years, and I don’t regret it one bit.
But that’s the danger with these things. You could have been exposed to it long before you ever started taking precautions, and once you’ve been exposed, you’ve got it. You may not know you have it, but it’s in you, somewhere deep down in the dark, scary place. It can remain dormant for years, and it's possible that it may never develop into a full-fledged affliction, but when you least expect it, it could flare up like a cigarette butt in a field of tumbleweeds. When your mental defenses are down, when you’re under psychological duress, when your emotions are hitting lustlovey highs and workstress lows like it’s that time of the month every day of the month, it’ll rear its ugly head that looks strangely like...Emeril Lagasse's.
calm before the storm
Suddenly you’ve metamorphosed from a shy, quiet food blogger with simple taste to a chubby, pink-cheeked troll of a showman tv celebrity chef. A breakfast of a simple stack of pancakes metamorphoses into a chocolate pancakes with Bam! homemade vanilla ice cream hurled on top and you toy with your own emotions by Bam! sending a deluge of warm cherry sauce to carve deep crevasses in a vanilla matterhorn that's already cascading in creamy rivulets over cocoa cliffs, and then you're caught up in the excitement, you've crossed the line, you've gone too far, so why hold back now?! You can't! You just can’t hold yourself back from by Bam! drizzling hot fudge all over the deep, dark, dirty delicious mess.
It took everything I had to not spank powdered sugar like virgin snow all over the stack, the plate, and the countertop.
There's some sort of prescription treatment for this, isn't there?
Resources from Around the Web:
~ Boston Globe's Simple Cherry Sauce with Kirsch
~ EatingWell's recipe for Chocolate Pancakes (and they serve theirs with a raspberry sauce)
~ CDKitchen has a recipe for chocolate pancakes with the kick of Kahlua
~ a good, basic recipe for Chocolate Pancakes at Recipezaar
~ Better Homes & Garden recipe for Chocolate Pancakes via Everything and Nothing
** this post originally published on 08.11.07 **
** a year ago today, naked isn't naughty when you're eating greek salad **
** two years ago today, there was flailing flesh and finger cymbals at koutoubia **
tags :: food : and drink : cooking : recipes : breakfast : brunch : los angeles
kates says
I definitely can't get into Sandra Lee. Can't stand how she "floats" around her kitchen and weights 50lbs, not to mention how she seems to throw gross canned and packaged food into everything... ugh.
I do watch Ina Garten's show, Ace of Cakes, and Alton Brown's show pretty much every day. I should probably cancel my cable, haha.
kates says
I definitely can't get into Sandra Lee. Can't stand how she "floats" around her kitchen and weights 50lbs, not to mention how she seems to throw gross canned and packaged food into everything... ugh.
I do watch Ina Garten's show, Ace of Cakes, and Alton Brown's show pretty much every day. I should probably cancel my cable, haha.
yoko says
Yes! I used to watch Food Network for the original Iron Chef, too, and was upset when it was canceled. I'll watch Ina Garten, Giada di Laurentiis, and Tyler Florence on occasion, but I've stopped tuning in on a regular basis. I keep cable really just to watch football anymore. It's kind of a shame I can't have a 1/2 year subscription. :P
TeddyBallgame says
Good to see you back on the regular.
Is it possible that you're dancing around an argument for (even) more niche marketing/programming for already specialized networks?
Having very little in common with my Moms, visits are spent cooking and watching the FN - which she loves and I can't stomach.
Inevitably, a conversation something like this goes down:
Moms: Oh that Paula...
Me: Is she drunk?
Moms: Maybe. Look at those peach, marscapone and Jack Daniels pop-overs! We should make that!
Me: For who? Who eats like that?
Moms: Everyone but you and your vegan friends.
Me: I'm not vegan. I'm not even vegetarian. Am I adopted?
Does the Food Network to splinter and offer a younger, more practical and, no offense, more refined slate of programming?
Sara - get on the horn!
ironstef says
oh man, I (obviously) loved the OG Iron Chef. I miss it. I don't mind an episode of the new one now and again, because I think Alton is pretty cool (what can i say I 3> nerds), and I like Mario. I' half watching with Next Iron Chef because Michael Ruhlman's a judge and Minceal Symon, who was in Ruhlman's "Soul of a Chef" is on it. But it's no original. No one can replace the Chairman. He was so cool, they didn't even dub his lines...he was the only one with subtitles. That = awesome.
The only shows I like havint Food tv for are Alton Brown's shows Good Eats and Feasting on Asphalt (the latter I LOVE) and Nigella. Although I'm never up early enough on Sunday mornings to catch her :(
I think I'd be okay without cable. Sure I was addicted to Top Chef , but that was silliness. Oh wait! What about No Reservations?!?! what do you do about that?
ironstef says
I apologize for all the typos just now. too little sleep plus a couple delish pale ales...in my defense.
:)
Anonymous says
Digg your writing! You rock!
Love your ching chong wing wong, Sandra Oh one liners! So funny.
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Anonymous says
"... sending a deluge of warm cherry sauce to carve deep crevasses in a vanilla matterhorn that's already cascading in creamy rivulets over cocoa cliffs ..."
Ohhh baby, I love it when you talk 'foodie' like that!
christianne says
I'm also ticked-off about the cancellation of the original iron chef! Though not enough to cancel cable....
Just discovered your blog and am really enjoying it!
Cindy. Lo. says
I just wanna submerge my face in that dessert.
joanh says
omg. will you ship that to me?
cypherus says
I am probably going to be only one here saying that I still enjoy the FN, but I do! Like everyone, I agree that there are shows that I hate and normally pass by, but have you asked yourself why you watch, or not watch, the shows? I watch them to be inspired, to learn, and even to *gasp* be entertained.
To not make this a totally biased comment I will say that I stopped watching Emeril a long time ago, but every now and again if nothing is on I will keep it on in the background if only to hear his double entendre's. I also can't stand Semi-ho (I laughed when I saw that for the first time here) Sandra Lee. Personally...she scares me...I watched her make some sort of winter beverage and she stuck butter in it and that was enough for me...Anyway, I don't think I'll ever stop loving the FN and while there aren't shows on like there used to be, there will always be something to learn and be entertained about.
hermz says
Props on keeping "epidemic" and "pandemic" straight. ^___^
Sara says
Yum, these look SO good!
Sara says
Yum, these look SO good!
sarah j. gim says
@FloridaAvocado: not to mention that 25 of those 50 total pounds is "chest!"
@yoko: but you're okay with Giada? she's as scary to me as Sandra Lee!
@TeddyBallgame: i love paula deen! i want her to adopt me. well, i actually just wanted to marry into the family via one of her adorable sons but they're now both married.
@IronStef: explains your handle ;)
@anonymous #1: is sandra oh as funny as me?
@anonymous #2: i just re-read what i wrote and it made me gag a little. LOL.
@christianne: glad you're enjoying it!
@cindy.lo: wait, who said that was dessert? we eat that for breakfast :)
@joanh: absolutely will ship to you! just put $100 in my paypal account at...
@josh: it's okay to like the FoodNetwork. as long as you don't mind our laughing at you ;)
@hermz: had to make up for getting "gene pool" wrong
@sara: they are! make some!
chocolateshoesandcoffee says
This thing is insane! We would like to see it on http://chocolateshoesandcoffee.blogspot.com/
Can we re-post it over there?
sarah j. gim says
@chocolateshoesandcoffee - feel free!
sarah j. gim says
@chocolateshoesandcoffee - feel free!
natalie says
woah...that is what i call breakfast!!! :)
Anonymous says
typical and traditional italian coucine.. very good look http://www.blogfood.it
Cathy - wheresmydamnanswer says
DAMN incredible - This is dessert, a breakfast a snack all wrapped up into one!!
I am a big Ina fan and Paula on Food Network - Do not have time to watch too much on the tube!
All for free recipes says
that pancake looks devilishly deliciousss! its like a dream come true. i wonder if i'll have the bravery to actually attempt to make this or eat it. haha
Jennifer says
speechless!!!! simply divine!!
Jennifer says
speechless!!!! simply divine!!
Marysol says
That's not breakfast.
That's the feast I want for my last meal!
Dawn says
I love Emeril! He is the reason I kick my recipes up a lot of notches.
The old Emeril was good; I miss it too. Do you like Emeril Green on PlanetGreen?
Yeah there is something hot about Bourdain...him and all his chain smoking...
laura says
OH that looks dangerous! That's all I will be able to think about this afternoon. Chocolate ... ice cream ... pancakes .. must have..
As for Food Network, I think Ina, Giada & Alton are their saving grace. Especially Ina. She makes me swoon!
Pandalicious says
damn, those pancakes and ice cream look to die for.
i love food network! emeril is ok.. but giada and danny boome are the most fun to watch. sandra lee is hella annoying!