I should have known that it was bound to happen. I guess I kind of knew it in the back of my mind, but tried to ignore it. To be quite honest, I told myself that if it did happen, I'm hardly one to be affected by it.
But it happened.
Food blogging has made me fat.
Perhaps "fat" is a little harsh, a wee bit of an exaggeration, but is there really any word that sounds okay? Chubby. Plump. Healthy. *sigh*
When I started The Delicious Life, I knew there was an outside possibility that I could possibly put on a few pounds because I'd have to cook and eat "prettier" things because food blogging salads at home every day would be boring. I would take more opportunities to dine out more often, maybe taste a few more wines with dinner. It started that way, but gradually spiralled into using The Delicious Life as an excuse to order one more dish to "try," then a few more, then I was adding entire third and fourth course to every meal. Dinner shifted into cocktails more often, which undoubtedly clouded my judgment and before I knew it, I would be sitting down at a late-night/early-morning grease gala with the rationale that I had to "sober up." And of course, take pictures of naughty nachos at 2 am.
With a fairly active lifestyle, it would all even out in the end, right? At worst, a couple extra pounds wouldn't force me to give away my entire existing wardrobe to Goodwill. I could keep the stuff with spandex.
Then I was *ahem* "eliminated" from my old job. Being "let go" is like a breakup. You are free and you are going to be back on the (job) market. It's like January 1st all over again and you resolve to become a brand new you. You go re-energize yourself with Thanh. You go see Umberto for a symbolic unburdening with a haircut, then hit up Fred Segal for a fresh new look. You work out every day. Maybe twice a day if the trainer is cute.
I worked out every day for about...one day.
I was depressed. I was unmotivated. I got lazy. I became bored, which depressed me even further into utterly unmotivated slackerdom. I didn't need to cut my hair because all I ever did was pull it into a tight little knot on top of my head. Without a paycheck, I couldn't afford to buy a brand new wardrobe, and why would I need anything other than my comfortable sweatpants since I never left the house anyway? Those faithful sweatpants – with their elasticized waistband, they never let on. They just stretched out ever so slightly with me each day, allowing me to expand. It started as a downward spiral that has finally imploded mentally. And exploded physically. By about 10 – maybe 12? – pounds. Yikes.
So the negative energy that should have been channelled into positive motivation a few months ago is slowly seeping out now. It's time for me to do something. It's time to get a haircut. It's time to take my baby niece for a walk around the mall. It's time to hop back onto the treadmill. Those aren't terribly difficult things to do. The difficult thing to do, the hardest part of this rude little awakening...is saying good-bye.
I have to say good-bye. *sob* So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, good-bye. I have to let go of the things in my life that have, well, that have transformed my butt into an extra-large patio cushion.
Hasta la skinny.
Not to the blog! No! Not to The Delicious Life! I'm not saying good-bye to my daily dose of therapy! What kind of madness were we thinking?!?!
For fox ache, I'm saying good-bye to ice cream. I'm not completely insane, you know.
Yes. It is true. I am going to be undergoing a wee bit of a "life-style change." A modification of my eating habits. An adjustment of portion sizes and making better choices. Oh, hell, let's just call it what it is. It's a diet. *blech* I hate that word more than I hate fois gras flan garnished with caviar, but I must. I’m thoroughly opposed to hard-core dieting with a daily meal intake that ranges from watered down Iceberg lettuce to a "treat" of steamed broccoli. I do however, believe that I can eat healthfully, with just an occasional indulgence in such things as...French frites a la bacon. I did it once before for the W, so I know I can do it.
Okay, so I haven't totally given up ice cream. *eh* Someone has to taste-test those "light" ice creams. :) Klondike Slim-a-Bears are okay, if you like that melted-then-refrozen spongy texture in your ice cream. Skinny Cow "light" ice cream sandwiches are much better, and they're only 140 calories per serving! Too bad I misinterpreted "1 serving" as three sandwiches.
Baby steps. I'm still learning about portion sizes.
** a year ago today, guelaguetza was my first taste of oaxaca **