A few nights ago, when I really needed a night out to get my mind off of “boys,” (actually, one silly boy in particular) Liz and the four Jenns (kind of like the three Heathers in the movie) came over to kick start the evening. It was ladies’ night.
Liz is a gorgeous redhead with glittering green eyes, who always looks fantastic in turquoise and baby blue. The Jenns, all four of them, are dolled up and accessorized in shades of pink. They’re petite, slender, and totally transparent – so very LA. The Jenns are...cosmos. Instant cocktails-to-go in uber girlie packaging. Liz brought them over start the evening of forgetting about him. ;)
I had actually seen these portable insta-cocktails in the liquor aisle of the market many times and would slap myself when I found myself almost buying them after thinking *high pitched voice in my head* omigod, how cute! Down, girl, down! Wow, I almost let my inner Hello Kitty out of her closet. *phew*
The reason I couldn’t bring myself to buy the Jenns myself is that it costs almost $15 for the case of four bottles, going against all budget logic. I could buy an entire 750 mL bottle of Absolut (on summer sale, of course) and a half gallon of cranberry juice for $15 and marinate the entire second floor of neighbors in my apartment building. And maybe even a few stragglers from the first floor. A single bottle of Jenn, *doing the long division now* at $3.75, is hardly the size of an actual cocktail, and even all four together might bring on a mild buzz, and that's on an empty stomach. It’s only 17% alcohol. Bummer.
The drinks don’t taste all that bad, but for how much it costs, I would expect a little more. Maybe it should taste like liquid Louis Vuitton (it didn’t). Maybe it should transform me into some pinked-out princess animé version of myself with fresh-from-Jonathan’s bouncy hair, a girlie figure with impossible measurements teetering on stilettos, driving a Dream ‘Vette with a teacup yorkie in the passenger seat (didn’t happen, thank God!). But Cocktails by Jenn are not so much for the drink function as they are for fashion. Let’s face it, the stuff is brilliantly marketed for grown-up girls, who are always willing to take out a second mortgage on their Malibu Barbie mansion to pay for “cute.” For what else is a $120 wife beater tank top than the glittery packaging? Alright, alright, so I have a few of those, too. But, what else am I supposed to wear for Ladies’ Night?!? *cue music again*