Blog posts have been appearing and disappearing and re-appearing all over the place. I know. It’s annoying. I am so very sorry, but trust me, for the freaky deaky obsessive perfectionist in me, I have to do it.
You see, I write every day. In fact, I write all day, every day. For any given day, there is a story. In fact, there might be two or three stories written and ready to go. I am fast and furious with words, despite my Asian heritage and despite my Asian-in-a-white-society upbringing that led to early pigeon-holing into "must be brilliant with numbers." However, I am not good with math, science, golf, the violin...or art.
Photos are art, so I have a lot of trouble with them, but because they are a very important, pornographic part of The Delicious Life, I want them. I love taking pictures. However, like with anything else, while that raucous romp between the sheets is wildly fun at the time, dealing with the aftermath is emotional, painful, and can be downright messy. Dealing with the aftermath of photos gives me stress. They cause all kinds of hive-y stress that I put them off because I’d rather not deal with the hive-y stress of cropping, re-sizing, adjusting the exposure, playing with color curves, wtf-is-an-unsharp-mask?!?! and pretty much tearing my hair out because I am still in the “novice” stage of Photoshop. And then there’s uploading. I will not go into how much I hate the tedium of uploading
So, the bottom line is, I am doing my best to get my blog caught up with my mouth, but it's always the pictures that slow me down. When the photos get ready, I publish post on top, leave it there to let it have it's 15 minutes of Delicious infamy, the move it back down into the archives to the original date that I wrote it. Because much of June's posts appeared then disappeared faster than a Citron/soda in my hands, here they are, each with an excerpt.
As a list. Of course. :)
Thursday, June 1 – Bulgogi Burger and a Birthday Month
“June makes me think of...the girl who picks the bad crab. Beaver’s mom. Gloomy days that burn into 90 degree margarita afternoons. The longest day of the year.”
Friday, June 2 – Chin Chin - Oh, Just Admit It. You've Been There, Too
“Can’t a girl get a break from sublime, unctous, delicious?!?! Is that so much to ask? Can I do that? Or is that just ‘not done.’ Sorry, Sarah. We don’t do that here in the food blogosphere. We don’t ‘do’ that.”
Saturday, June 3 – Coldstone Creamery vs. Diddy Riese - Mortal Kombat
"… technically, Street Fighter is a way better game, and Mortal Kombat the movie was just...just an embarrassing bullet point on the resume of every actor who was in it.”
Sunday, June 4 – Disney Concert Hall – Something Like Wedding Crashers
"I am going to make damn well sure that I get my weddingregistrygift’s worth of fun because I already know that it won’t be worthwhile for the 'chipper chicken or siffit.' "
Monday June 5 – Coral Tree Cafe - Brunch with Brentwood's Beautiful People
“…great spot for people-watching, if watching slight variations of very wealthy young Brentwood couples pushing their 1.25 children in an $900 Bugaboo is your idea of people-watching.”
Tuesday, June 6 – Mediterranean Penne Pasta Salad - When Pasta Primps
“Good grief, you could just shake something out of a bottle in a fit of Sandra Lee hysterics and it would still be okay.”
Wednesday, June 7 – Chang's of Brentwood - Miami Vice Chinese Paradise
“Perhaps we were confused in this Chinese restaurant that had no trace of golden-tiger-hidden-red-pearl-dragon decor. Perhaps we were too focused on trying to figure out who "Dan" and "Dan" were of the Dan Dan Noodles.”
Thursday, June 8 – Barney's Beanery, Santa Monica - Unanswered Questions and Airplane Food
“Eggs Benedict was a poor man's excuse for a rich man's excuse for an Egg McMuffin.”
Friday, June 9 – Warszawa - It Wasn't a Date
“…finally bit through the taut, semi-transparent membrane of salted, cured pork, finally slipped my tongue between the folds of the soft sticky sweetness, finally burned the roof of my mouth on the subtly oozing sexy saltiness, I had what you might call...a foodie-gasm.”
Saturday, June 10 – Tong Dang Thai - "Doesn't Like Travelling nor Long Walks on the Beach"
“…saying “I love Thai food” somehow makes the person gastronomically down wi’ it. Trendy. Hip to exotic cuisines. Thai is almost...sexy. Thai food makes a person...hot.”
Sunday, June 11 – Vegetable Maki, The Abbey, and Ina Garten
"...maybe I’m just a gay man trapped inside a girl food blogger’s body."
Monday, June 12 – Basil Pesto - Even with Bad Genes
“But at least it's better than buying store-bought pesto. I'm not that Sandra Lee!”
ay, June 13 – Casa Escobar - How She Fights. And Wins.
“She has picked up her napkin to dab at her eyes, a dramatic, valiant attempt to 'not cause a scene.' But oh yes, she is definitely causing a scene. Exactly the way her feminine subconscious wants to cause it.”
Wednesday June 14 – Banh Mi, Myself, and I - Eating Alone for the First Time
“Eating alone in public is a mentally implosive clash of oxymoronic worlds that is too complicated for me to understand.”
Thursday, June 15 – W Hotel, Westwood - Sippin' Sapphire on a Bud Light Budget
“…there was a point in my life when I was a hard core "G&T" girl. Gin and tonic. But like most people do after a weekender bender on cheap tequila or perhaps Jager, I permanently swore off the swill that pickled my liver and seeped pine sap out of my pores for five days afterwards.”
Friday June 16 – El Guapo Cantina - Identity Crisis and Porn
"Where on earth have I ever said 'hot kitty?!?!?' ”
Saturday, June 17 – Jar - Whatever Happened to "Delightful?" You Can Find Her in the Bottom of the Jar
"The Wedge shrieked out to me with so much excitement that I could barely hear my second favorite, Caesar, or any of the breathy, wispy beckoning of the other salads."
Sunday, June 18 – Lares Mexican - The Checklist vs. Chemistry
“…when it comes down to those two hot, steamy weeks locked in your bedroom with nothing but a Power Point and empty Harvey balls everywhere, The Checklist gets lost between the sheets.”
Monday June 19 – Thirty Plus Years Old and Still a "Girl" - Father's Day and Sarah's Birthday Week
"I probably have to get rid of some of that Hello Kitty crap."
Tuesday June 20 – On Food and Cooking - Tomorrow Never Dies, and Neither Does Yesterday
"He is confident and sure of himself like that. I might say 'cocky,' but I wouldn’t want to offend him by that, though subtle cockiness was one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place."
Wednesday June 21 – Annual 29th Birthday - Tra La La!
"I think the therapy is working."
Thursday June 22 – India's Oven - Wild and Adventurous on My Birthday
"I think I forced myself to use a fork. But I can't be sure."
Friday June 23 – Pretty in Pink and Why I Love That He's a Terrible Liar
"Let's just say that meeting in person is very different from reading a profile and seeing a picture online."
Saturday June 24 – Hatfield's - IM and Understanding Intentions
"...it was 'presh,' as if Hello Kitty herself were back in the kitchen *eek!*-ing them out on all her miniaturized pink Sanrio-licensed Hello Kitty emblazoned cookware."
Sunday June 25 – Palmeri Ristorante - When Opportunity Takes You to Dinner
Monday June 26 – Living a Life of Delicious Excess (but Only on Weekends)
Tuesday June 27 – The Hungry Cat - Oysters, Shrimp and Getting Past "Chicken"
"The only way to get past some weird hang-up is to yes, 1) realize that it is a weird hang-up, then 2) take the paddle attachment on your pink-is-for-power KitchenAid mixer at top speed and spank your fear into the ground."
Wednesday June 28 – Getting to Know You
"I want to get to know you, my seven readers. I want us to, you know, have a relationship."
Thursday June 29 – Lemon Pound Cake with Basil-Lemon Sugar Crust - Undeserving
"It just isn't fair when good things happen to bad, undeserving people.
Friday June 30 – Jonathan Gold is My Essential LA Hero
“…if you were to make an indecent proposal that involved you, me and a million dollars’ worth of fois gras, I’d do it. I have absolutely no integrity and will swallow every hateful word I have ever said about that vile stuff.”
And there you go. A birthday month, all rounded up in one post.
*phew* I feel better now.