A girl parks her car on the street then starts walking toward her house. She passes near one of the bazillion condo conversions that are occurring on her street because suddenly the real estate market totally needs more housing! It is basically a construction site. One of the dirty, grimy guys in a hard hat leers at her and shouts “Hey, pretty girl! Hey! ”
She looks the other way with utter disdain and thinks to herself, “Men are such pigs.” *hmph*
A few days later, the same girl parks her car on the street then starts walking toward her house. She passes another semi-construction site, her perfectly pedicured toes peeping out from under her jeans with every forward step. There are lots of dirty, grimy guys in hard hats, but not a single one of them says a thing as she sashays past them.
She picks up her pace, her brow ever-so-slightly furrowing. She is looking down at herself, wondering, confused. “Ohmigod! Did I gain weight?" She looks up, wild-eyed at the self-realization. "Am I fat? Ohmigod! I am fat! I shouldn’t have eaten that burger last night! F**k! I have to go to the gym right now.” She looks over her shoulder and screams "Pigs!!!" to a group of confused, shrugging construction workers. Then she runs home, her stupid stiletto heels clack-clack-clacking on the sidewalk - the heels she wore because she thought they made her legs look thinner. She immediately changes into her fat clothes and cries herself to sleep while reading Chapter 3 of French Women Don’t Get Fat.
Women are so stupid.
The above scenarios may or may not have happened, and whom that "girl" is will remain a mystery to everyone, especially since "she" happens to be actually happy with the double-wide spreading state of her ass that requires a small red flag to be attached to it as a warning, and is not bothered at all by her loss of waistline wholly due to over-indulgence in "diet" ice cream sandwiches, okay?!?!?! But if the above scenarios didn't happen yesterday or today, it will happen.
I have a complex right now because in the last month, several things have happened that have made me unusually aware of fat. The simple image in the mirror notwithstanding, two copies of "diet" books have made their ways onto my nightstands, without my necessarily seeking them out. Is this a sign? It is! Someone is very gently trying to let me know that, maybe, just maybe, I should eat a salad tomorrow for lunch! *sigh*
I just finished reading French Women Don't Get Fat. The book is a good, fast, and somewhat entertaining read, but there was nothing in the book that was earth-shattering. As I turned each page of this hybrid memoir-slash-cookbook, I had to wonder why Mireille Guiliano's words were such a huge hit, because it was all common sense. Drink water. Eat yogurt. Don't eat too much. Walk. These are very basic, well-known principles. Clearly, someone just needed to put them in one place and have Oprah put her smack of million dollar approval on it.
Unfortunately, no matter how much makeup I put on to counteract my Mongolian eyelids, I will always be Asian. Screw yogurt.
Eat Right for Your Metabolism is much more like a textbook. I have not yet finished it, but so far, there is a lot of end-noting with references to other books, research, etc. It sounds very official and scientific, but again, it comes down to common sense. Basically, there are two types of metbolisms: meat or grains. If you are physiologically a meat-eater, then you need to stick with a diet that has a higher proportion of animal proteins. If you are physiologically a grain-eater, then you need to eat grains. When you eat the right diet, your body can properly metabolize the foods you eat. The book has some suggested "menus" as well as recipes. You just have to figure out which one you are, and much of it has to do with your heritage.
I am a grain-eater.
Which in no way explains why I am getting fatter because doughnuts are made from flour, and flour comes from wheat, and last I checked, wheat is a G*dd**n grain!
*sigh* Back to the treadmill.
** a year ago today, i came face to face with a screaming smelt at terried sake house **