Do not set your alarm. Wake up late on Sunday morning. Pull your unwashed hair into a loose ponytail, forego contact lenses for glasses, and stay in your pajamas all day. Open every window in your house and turn up '80s music without any regard for your neighbors.
Wash and prep a 3-4 pound chicken, cutting away any excess fat and plucking off remnant feather pieces. Pat the chicken dry all over and inside.
Sprinkle the cavity with kosher salt. Place 5-6 cloves of garlic, lightly smashed with the side of a knife and one lemon, cut in half, inside the cavity. Sprinkle the outside of the chicken all over generously with salt, and pepper if using.
If you're motivated, tie the legs together, but I hardly have enough time to blog, let alone truss a bird. Place 3 stalks of celery and 3 peeled carrots in the bottom of a roasting pan to serve as a "rack." Put the chicken breast-side up on the carrots and celery. Pull the wing tips back and tuck behind and underneath.
Roast the chicken for about an hour or until done. I may fiddle with my computer with chicken juice on my hands, but I do have a strange obsession with using a thermometer to roast until a proper "safe" temperature.
Let the chicken rest for 15 minutes before serving.
Save roasted chicken bones, carrots, and celery to make chicken broth next time you need therapy.