I probably shouldn't admit this out blog.
But.
There is a measuring cup half full of gray, congealed fat flecked with dirty browned bits on my countertop.
(That's not the "shouldn't admit this" part. There is absolutely no shame in bacon fat.)
But.
The measuring cup half full of bacon fat has been sitting on the countertop 1) uncovered and 2) for three days.
OhgodIjustoutedmydisgustingself.
(Incidentally, how confusing is that last part when you say it out loud? "one, un, two, four, three...")
Three days. I cooked bacon three days ago and I still haven't cleaned up the mess, part of which is that puck of lard that is likely collecting a thin layer of kitchen dust, part of which is the slippery mini splatteration of fat on the floor in front of the stove, and part of which is the grease in my hair.
Ok, that last one has nothing to do with cooking bacon. I just need to take a shower.
I don't know why I've left the bacon fat like that. It doesn't make sense. If I had just left the rendered fat in the pan, left the pan on the stovetop, left the kitchen with my plate of cooked bacon, then it would make sense because that means I had had no intention of cleaning up.
But clearly, I did have intention. I started something. I made an effort. I drained the fat off the pan. If it had been a paper cup lined with paper towel to "soak" the liquid fat into its layers, I would have tossed the entire grease-lucent thing into the trash can. But I poured that fat into a pre-meditated heat-proof permanent glass container, instead of into a disposable cup, instead of just leaving it in the pan, because...why? What was I thinking? What was my thought process, young lady?!
Um, I guess I wasn't thinking...? I guess?
That bacon fat in the uncovered measuring cup is like an interrupted no-thought process.
See? No part of it makes any sense. Especially the part where the measuring cup full of bacon fat — aka The Bacon Fat Cup, or if you're an acronymizer like me, The BFC — sat unmoved from its spot on the countertop through the entire preparation for a dinner party the next day, through the dinner party that night (I left The BFC in plain view of dinner guests! My god, the judgment!), and through the dinner party cleanup the day after.
The BFC stayed on the counter the whole time. Why didn't I scrape it into the garbage can so I could use the measuring cup to make dinner? Why didn't I clean it up before the dinner guests arrived? Why didn't I just throw it into the mess mix afterwards?!
This is why I don't cook bacon very often.
{recipe}: Avocado Bacon Lettuce and Egg (ABLE)
I love providing recipes for things like this. It's so useful and necessary.
Ingredients
for each serving:
a slice of bread (I cut a baguette into 1" thick slices on a very slight bias)
about 1 tablespoon butter
2 slices avocado
strip of cooked bacon
lettuce
soft poached egg
optional: tomato (in which case ABLE becomes TABLE. Or ABLET. Or whatever. You know what I mean.)
Directions
In a small frying pan, melt about a tablespoon of butter over medium heat. When the butter is sizzling, add the bread and let it brown, about 1-2 minutes on each side.
Top with cooked bacon, lettuce, avocado and soft poached egg.
vinfotech says
I totally agree with you for the fact of not cooking it very frequently...but at the end of the day what matters most is the taste of your food...and i must say it seems Yumy....!
PHP Web Development
Sarah says
VERY true. of course, there are lots of things that taste just as good... different, but good! (ok, but still, totally different, i know)
Ché @ Knight at the Restaurant says
This was hysterical. HYSTERICAL.
bakingmehungry says
Clever. Enjoying your blog!
Jesstifer says
Thanks, photo inspired me to make this for breakfast today. Substituted arugula for lettuce, and added bit of mayo. Yum. Re: bacon, I totally cheat now when making for myself. Put it on a plate in the microwave for 2-3 mins with paper towel top and bottom, remove bacon, wipe off plate w/greasy towel, dispose and use plate for self-service :-)
Anonymous says
o, i love the more flavorful arugula substitution! might actually do this again with that *and* leafy herbs...
Caroline on Crack says
LOL what were you planning to do with it? You could always just microwave it and then...yeah, I got nothing.
Sarah says
scrambled eggs in bacon fat is so good! and after someone had mentioned *duck* fat popcorn, i thought i could do the same thing with bacon fat... now? yeah, nothing. :D
Terris @ Free Eats says
That's the exact reason I don't fry doughnuts very often. I once had a pot of used oil on the stove for weeks. I would actually meal plan around this situation. Hmm, no pasta tonight because the big pot is errr, being used?
Sarah says
ok, the fact that you even make your own doughnuts ONCE is impressive enough! and if *you* fry doughnuts, shouldnt someone else in the house clean the pot?! wait, i think i might be in the middle of writing a blog post about that...